Inasmuch as I have put to myself the task of trying to tell you an inquisitive story in which I am myself apprehensive-I shall begin by leaving you with some notion of me (3-28-2011).
In the Positives column, write down all the positive things you bring to the relationship. For example, are you a caring person? Do you treat your partner with respect? Are you basically honest with your partner? Do you behave in a way that reflects the fact that you love your partner?
Changing external events have very little impact in your life on the long term. Small changes in you; in your perceptions and Schema Therapy might seem insignificant at first, but because the change is in you it effects all of your thoughts, all of your actions and all of your words. This seemingly insignificant change, over time changes the whole direction and end destination of your life. If a captain of a ship changes direction just one degree the end destination might be a different continent all together. Like the captain changing his course by one degree it might be unnoticeable over a short period of time, but over greater distances the small change becomes very significant.
Very well then, I am a man of sixty-three, rather robust in size and with auburn hair, what’s left of it. I wear glasses. Until five years ago, I lived in St. Paul, Minnesota, where I had a few different positions, a psychologist for the Federal Government Prison system, and an entrepreneur-of a small sort, and a poet and writer of a small stature. I am married to a Peruvian woman, and have moved to Lima-although I am still a resident of Minnesota for the most part. And have adopted an abandoned Quail. We named her after the preacher that brought her to us, homeless, and have since put her in our house garden, her name being, Marcelina. She has in a way of speaking, a quiet form of smiling at one, as though to say…we may go into that later.
That was in front of his wife. Behind her, he approached and confided in a few of his friends he trusted and felt completely comfortable with. One of them – who was a marriage counsellor – gave him this book called Save My Marriage Today.
I hope you recognize the difference? It may seem like a small change but it is really a dramatic paradigm shift from the old self-centered (self-help, new-age, pop-psychology) model to the God-centered (Biblical) model.
Remind yourself of why you are a writer. You became a writer for a reason. Whether that reason was because you want to give insight on an issue occurring in the world or stemmed from a childhood love of books, keep reminding yourself of why you are a writer. Reiterate that this is something you need to do, and have to stick with.